I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
