I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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