I hate your face
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
