Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
