What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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