the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
