You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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