we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
