her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
