what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
