I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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