And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
