Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
