the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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