wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
