everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
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