hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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