over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
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