and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
