sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
