but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
