Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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