I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
