You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
He did a backflip because drugs
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
