Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
