shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
