I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
