i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
