so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
