I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
