All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
