I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
