i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
