Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
