Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
