Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I believe in your delicious
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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