FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
The air taste purple.
Randomize
