So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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