vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
