Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
