we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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