I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
