It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
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