Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
