She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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