i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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