Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
