Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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