I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
