So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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