Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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